[ New Video Blog ] Not your monkey, not your circus

 

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In this video, I share about “Not Your Monkey, Not Your Circus”

My wife and I were driving in the car the other day talking about a certain situation
that someone was trying to pull me in to. I told her how crazy I thought the whole
thing was and how I don’t want anything to do with it.
My wife gave me a beautiful response:  “Not your monkey, not your circus.”
I laughed but completely understood what she meant.

If someone reaches out to you for help, it doesn’t mean it’s your responsibility.

Are you the go to person in your office when it comes to fixing problems?
If there is drama going on, do you find yourself in the middle of it?
Just because people come to you and dump their crazy on you doesn’t mean you have to become the ring leader.
Question: How have you seen this at work in your own life? Leave me a comment on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn

[New Post] Two powerful strategies to keep you from overacting

 

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When you toss a small pebble in to a still pond, it will cause a small splash with a minimal ripple effect. Soon after the water returns to the calm still state that is was before. Water responds appropriately to the mass and force of the object . It never over or under-reacts.

This is a great metaphor for life.

Often times we are faced with pebble size problems and we react as they are huge boulders that will cause a major wave in our life.

Anything that causes you to over or under react controls you.

Learning to respond to situations and people without over or under reacting is key to living a life with less stress.

So what strategies can we apply to our life to not over or under react?

We have to:

  • Define the internal values that guide our life
    • When we know we are being true to who we are at our core, we will consistently respond according to those values. We only over or under react when our internal values are violated. To identify your internal values ask yourself some clarifying questions like:
      • What situations or people cause me to over or under react? Why? Where do I feel there is an injustice happening? What do I feel should be happening in this situation? What do I feel this person should be doing? What rules inside me are they breaking? These questions will help you define the values that guide your life.
  • Set Boundaries according to our internal values

Example: If we consistently overreact with anger towards someone about their behavior, We are the one with the problem, We are allowing this person to control us because we  have not set up healthy boundaries in our relationships.  Healthy boundaries define what kind of behavior we will tolerate. When we set clear,concise boundaries explaining what is acceptable behavior, we stay true to our internal values.

When we know who we are and what we will allow, we become an empowered person that has situations react to them rather than reacting to situations.

Question: How can you apply these strategies to your life? Leave a comment on my Facebook, Twitter or LinkedIn

[New Post] The Art of the Hustle

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Ants are amazing insects.  They don’t wait around for things to happen. They are strong and focused about what needs to be done to ensure their success tomorrow.
We can learn a lot from their behavior. They instinctively understand the art of the hustle.
Do you have aspirations to accomplish great things with your life? Are you still dreaming or have you made steps to move forward to see your dreams become a reality?
Where ever you are on the path of pursuing your dreams, one thing is for sure…it’s time to work like an ant. You’re going to have to hustle.
Gary Vaynerchuk with Vayner Media says “Hustling is putting every minute and all your effort into achieving the goal at hand.”
What is your goal at hand? Do you want to lose weight or start a company? You have to hustle.
We live in a fifteen minutes of fame seeking, microwave, lottery playing,  instant gratification culture where we want everything handed to us.
I know a ton of people that have dreams but are unwilling to put in the long hours, sweat, and sacrifice to see the results or lifestyle they dream of.
It’s time to get our head out of the clouds learn the art of the hustle.
The art of the hustle is having the long term perspective to understand that your short term sacrifice will pay off with long term gains.
Rory Vaden with Southwestern Consulting says: “Successful people know that feelings and impulses don’t tend to last long; they are short term. So while most people make decisions based on the short-term emotion, successful people can make sacrifices because they base their decisions on long-term logic.”
So what does the art of the hustle look like? 
 
1. Give up everything that’s a distraction 
You may need to give up your golf game for a few years if you want to start your dream company. If you want to lose forty pounds, stop watching TV and instead, go for a walk.
You already know the habits and hobbies that distract you from achieving your dreams. Make a commitment to cut the distractions and hustle.
2. Hard Work
Thomas Edision said: “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” The short term pain of hard work today will pay off with long term gain.
3. Have a long term perspective
Remember that there is no such thing as an overnight success.
In the book Outliers, author Malcolm Gladwell says that it takes roughly ten thousand hours of practice to achieve mastery in a field.  If you want to achieve great things, commit
to making the sacrifice to see your dreams come true.
 Live like the ants. Do what needs to be done today, to ensure your success tomorrow…hustle.
Question: What are you going to do today to live out the art of the hustle? Leave me a comment on my Facebook, Twitter or LinkedIn.

How to kill off procrastination

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Have you ever heard the phrase “Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow”?
The correct quote is from Benjamin Franklin which said ““Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.”
Unfortunately, too many people  have the first quote as a life motto.
We’ve all procrastinated at some point in our lives. The problem is when we procrastinate habitually.
Are you a habitual procrastinator? Have you asked why? Maybe deep down inside you already know.
In Rory Vaden’s book “Take The Stairs” he shares the following thoughts on procrastination:
 
“Psychologists say that the number one cause of all procrastination is self-criticism. It can feel safer not to begin 
a daunting journey or not to take on a challenging task because at least we know we won’t fail. So instead of working, we wait. 
We wait for the perfect plan, the perfect time, and the perfect resources. The problem is, the perfect circumstances never show up. 
What was once a harmless decision of opting for safety soon becomes a limiting, even debilitating lifestyle of inaction.”
What do you dream about?
What do you want to accomplish with your life?
What’s keeping you from taking action? My guess it’s self- criticism.
Instead of taking the leap and pursuing our dreams, we keep them bottled up on the inside and continually remind ourselves of all the reasons we will fail and wonder if we will be good enough and smart enough to accomplish our dreams.
Are you waiting for the perfect opportunity to show up? If you are, it’s never going to happen.You are never going to do perfect work, be the perfect parent, perfect friend or create the perfect product. Stop waiting and start.Guess what…you are going to screw up. You are going to make mistakes. Embrace the imperfect.Say it with me: “Embrace the imperfect.”

Procrastination is trying to kill you and it’s time to kill it off.
It’s time to kill off procrastination by:
  1. Acknowledging your fears.
    1. It’s ok to be afraid. Everyone is afraid at some point in time. The difference between those that achieve their goals and those that don’t is acknowledging that their fearful and moving forward anyway.
  2. START.
    1. After you have acknowledged your fears, the next step it to move forward and start. You will never know what you are capable of until you start. Go for your dreams, start that company, go back to school. You never know what you can do until you start.
  3. Decide what bite from the elephant you are going to take first.
    1. Have you ever heard the the phrase “How many bites does it take to eat an elephant?…one bite at a time!” The same is true when it comes to our goals and dreams. Start small and chunk you r dream in to small achievable goals / tasks that have a time frame attached to be completed. If it’s writing a book, commit to writing 300 words per day, over time it adds up and before you know it you have written your first book.
  4. Reflect on the brevity of your life.
    1. This is a big one. You only have one life. The fear that is crippling you is holding you back from accomplishing your dreams. You don’t want to get to the end of your life and look back and think “I wish I would of kill off procrastination”.
Abraham Lincoln said: And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.
What kind of life are you going to have in your years? You make that decision by taking action and killing off procrastination. Do it today. 
Question: In what areas of your life are you going to kill off procrastination? Leave a comment on my Facebook, Twitter or LinkedIn 
 

Why destination disease is killing your happiness

WHY DESTINATION DISEASE IS KILLING YOUR

Do you consider yourself a happy person?
Do you feel you are living your best life right now or do you find your mind filled with the following types of questions:
  1. When I get to this point in my life then I will be happy
  2. If I only would have done ( fill in the blank) then I would be happier
If you find yourself thinking this way, you may have destination disease.
All too often we live our life in the past, full of regrets or always looking to a future time when we achieve certain goals or reach a place in our career when we will decide to be happy.
When our happiness is based on a destination or lack there of, we put ourselves in a position where we can never be happy until we “arrive”. – KC Cupp
In the book” The Happiness Advantage“, author Shawn Achor explains how he spent over a decade researching at Harvard University, on one of the largest studies of happiness ever completed.
One of the key findings in Shawn Achor’s research was that happiness fuels success, not the other way around.
This study shows when we are positive, our brains become more engaged, creative, resilient, and productive at work and in life.
So our level of happiness and the key to living our best life today comes down to how we internalize our external circumstances.
It’s the old glass half full or half empty syndrome.
So how do you internalize your external circumstances?
Today you may not have the career you want, but at least you have a job. You might be saying “KC, I don’t even have a job!”. Well, at least you have air in your lungs and have another day of life. You have today!
Does this mean we should ignore planning and setting goals and only focus on today? Not at all. I am all for planing and goal setting. But I like the way Joel Osteen, Pastor of Lakewood Church puts it: “It’s a good to have a big picture outlook, to set goals, to establish budgets and make plans, but if you’re always living in the future, you’re never really enjoying the present in the way God wants you to.”
 Every day may not be good but there is something good in every day! We can’t change our past and we can’t be certain what the future holds. What you do have is today. You have this moment to be cured of destination disease.
Being cured from destination disease and finding happiness begins by:
  1. Choosing to enjoy what you do have.
    1. Can you think of three things right here in the is moment that you are thankful for?
  2. Helping others.
    1. If you are currently unemployed, you have time on your hands to help others. Helping others not only feeds the soul but could potentially open up doors for you and is scientifically proven to improve our mood!
  3. Living in the moment.
    1. You can’t turn back the clock or fast forward time. You have thins moment you are in. Right here, right now. Take deep breath and look around you. Look at your surroundings. Take a sheet of paper and write down the color, tastes and smells. You will find your heart rate slowing and your stress level decreasing.
  4. Being present
    1. Who are you going to spend time with today? Be present. Don’t dwell on what you need to do tomorrow or what you forgot to do. Give everyone your undivided attention.

Destination disease can get the best of us all. When we are thankful for what we do have, help others, live in the moment  and are present in all of our conversations, life moves a little slower and becomes a little sweeter. You might just find yourself smiling a little more also!

 Question: What have you done to be cured of destination disease?  Leave a comment on my Twitter, Facebook or LinkedIn
 

What I learned about my To Do list from a busy women named Mary

WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT MY TO LIST FROM A
On Sunday afternoon I was working in my yard pulling weeds. I was reflecting on an interesting story found in the bible in Luke 10:38-42.
No matter if you are a person of faith or not, there is so much to learn from this story.
It says:
Luke 10:38-42
38 As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed 
him into her home. 39 Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. 40 But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. 
She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”
41 But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! 42 There is only one thing worth being concerned about. 
Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”
 
In this story, Martha was so busy taking care of her “To Do” list that she missed the very thing that is right in from of her, precious time with her sister and Jesus.
Jesus says to her:  “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! 42 There is only one thing worth being concerned about.”
She was so concerned with the details that she missed the moment.
Jesus was teaching her that the “To Do” list is never finished. There is always more to do. The urgent things should never crowd out the important.
“I have two kinds of problems: the urgent and the important. The urgent are not important, and the important are never urgent.”- Dwight D Eisenhower
We need to be responsible. We do have to get things done. We also need to learn to be in the moment and know when it’s okay to put the “To Do” list aside.
Questions: Is it hard for you to set aside your “To Do” List? What do you do to make sure you are “In the moment”? Leave me a comment on Facebook or Twitter. I would love to hear from you!